Subject: Self-introduction letter
Dear Professor Brad,
I, Yousof Saira Banu, would like to explain to you about my educational background and my interest for civil engineering. For your convenience, you can address as Saira. Currently, I am in Year 1 civil engineering. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with the Diploma in Civil Engineering. In poly, I took additional module, Bahasa Malayu, to upgrade myself. As my 1st year results in poly were exceeding, I was offered a research and development module by Singapore Polytechnics, which taught me to inovate products and launch it in the market. Upon completion of the diploma, I had started my career in LTA.
In my work, I was expected to have wide range of
engineering (civil, mechanical, and electrical) knowledge as I was managing few
MRT projects such as DTL2, Tuas West Extension, CCL6, TEL and RTS Link that connects Singapore and Malaysia. In addition, I had to interact with a lot of people
from various ministries, agencies, departments, and consultants to design, gazette,
build and deliver the project in time. To achieve that successfully, I would required to
have good communication skill.
There were many times, I was
required to check for details in the drawings and explain design intend to higher
managements. As it was too technical, I had to spend additional time to
understand the context before I explain it. If only I had completed digree in civil engineering, I could have reduced the time to required to understand the design intended. Therefore, I was encouraged and movitated to enrol for this course.
I am an extrovert, so I am always
comfortable conversing with strangers. This helped me to mingle and interact
with my colleagues easily that somehow expended my network. My wider network allowed me to accomplish a work quickly. However, communicating
with higher management and ministries, I tend to be very cautious over my
word’s usage. At times, I felt that I was short for words despite my wide range
of vocabulary.
My goals in this module are to be even bolder in conveying details to the point and being creative in communication
to sustain the attention.
Regards,
Saira
Group 6
I appreciate you having written the letter and posting it, Saira.
ReplyDeleteDear Saira,
ReplyDeleteYour letter is quite clear. However, there are multiple spelling and grammatical errors. Perhaps you may wish to shorten your first paragraph as it is a bit too long for me to understand.
Dear Darren,
DeleteThank you for your comments and pointing out the mistakes. I will correct them.
Regards,
Saira
Dear Saira,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this detailed introductory letter. You cover the parameters of the assignment and illustrate each section with vivid explanations. I'm impressed by your rich experience in LTA, and I'd suggest that your peers in our class have a lot to learn from you. Toward that end, it might be good to mention one project and use reference to that to bring your experience clearly down to earth.
At the same time, it would be good to polish your language expression. If it is revised so that the reader can fully understand, your story will shine further. Here are some issues to address:
1. issues with capitalization
-- i was offtered Research / various Ministries, Agencies, departments / other Ministries,
2. sentence structure
-- In poly, I took additional module, Bahasa Malayu, to upgrade myself and i was offtered Research and development module that taught me to inovate products and launch it in the marke. > (lack of conciseness/lack of clarity/mixed focus areas)
-- to be even bolder in conveying details to the point and be creative in communication to sustain the attention. > (lack of parallel structure for the gerund)
to be even bolder in conveying details to the point and being creative in communication to sustain the attention.
-- This helped me to mingle and interact with my colleagues that allow me ...
> (lack of parallel structure for the verb)
3. word/verb use
-- I would required to have a good communication skill.
> (verb form)
-- There are many times, I was required to check for details in the drawings and explain ...
> (verb tense inconsistency)
-- As it is too technical, I had ... >
(verb tense inconsistency)
-- If only I had completed digree in civil engineering, I could reduce time to understand the design intend. > (verb tense)
If only I had completed a degree in civil engineering, I could have reduced the time needed to understand the design intended.
-- I was eagered and movitated ... > (eagered?)
-- I felt that I am short ... > (verb tense)
I look forward to seeing how you can develop this and to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Brad,
DeleteThank you for your comments and suggested corrections for my blog. I ackowledged the mistakes and I had corrected them.
Regards,
Saira
Dear Saira
ReplyDeleteYour letter is inspirational, I believe that there will always be room for improvement in life and that learning is a never-ending journey! I am fascinated by your practical work experience in LTA, I would love to experience it myself one day!
However, there are a few mistakes to note that may improve your letter:
1) verb issues such as "I was graduated" >> I graduated and "I would required to.." >> "I would require"
2) From the previous error, in "required to have a good..", "a" may be redundant when used with an uncountable noun, "skill". You may consider removing it.
3)Minor spelling mistakes such as "offtered" >> "offered" and "inovate" >> "innovate"
Hope these pointers will benefit your letter!
Best regards
Diyanah
Dear Diyanah,
DeleteThank you for your comments and I appreciated it. I will check and make the necessary changes.
Thank you
Regards,
Saira
Hi saira,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your letter, it is interesting knowing what you have been doing in LTA. Your letter has also given me the opportunity to get to know you better.
I find that your letter is very detailed, clear and complete. One sentence that I find it weird is " address as saira" maybe you change it to " address me as saira" it sounds better!
Best regards,
ChengQuan
Hi Saira,
ReplyDeleteI had alot of fun working along with you for the current project. Thank you for sharing about your work and study experiences with us. However, there are some minor errors I found in your post.
1) Singapore Polytechnics -> without the 's'
2) I had started my career in LTA. -> I started my career in LTA
3) I was managing few MRT projects -> a few
4) would required -> would require
5) I had completed digree in civil engineering, -> I had completed a degree in civil engineering
6) I could have reduced the time to required -> I could reduce the time required
7) expended -> expanded
8) word’s usage -> usage of words
I hope my comments will help you to improve your writing skills! I will be looking forward to read the updated version of your post.
Warmest regards,
Pin Kiat